Dream Opening-Day Pitcher(s)

CHICAGO — Who would be my dream pitcher for the Chicago Cubs opening day? Strap in, because this is going to get crazy.

In order to combine two of my favorite things into this particular scenario, I’ve come up with an interesting turn of events that would be possibly be the most epic spectacle ever witnessed. First off, DC comics hasn’t been doing well in terms of movies.

However, they film quite a bit in the city of Chicago, so here’s an idea for some cross promotion….




We have Ben Affleck, in full Batman attire, drive out in the Batmobile from Batman V. Superman, prepared to do the first pitch. HOWEVER, this is far from over! Just as Affleck is winding up, the tumbler from The Dark Knight and Christian Bale jumps out in his bat suit as well!




The battle of the ages will soon ensue, Nolanverse Batman vs. Bat-ffleck!


’89 Batman


Then, on the zip-line, down comes Michael Keaton in his impossible to move in costume. He’ll probably get a few cheap shots in, but isn’t likely to prevail due to a lack of mobility.

However, while the three dark incarnations of the beloved dark knight are duking it out near the pitcher’s mound, they fail to notice another caped and cowled figure riding in on an electric scooter that will be the one to truly be the one to deliver the Opening Day pitch…




Hamill Joker


Nanananananananananana, ADAM WEEEEEEEEEST! In all of his campy 1966 glory will deliver the pitch as the other three are distracted! But, it turns out, the catcher is Mark Hamill dressed as the Joker who steals the ball, causing literally every batman to chase him off the diamond!

Now that, as completely and utterly ridiculous as that is, would make me want to watch baseball.

Nicholas Youngs


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